...my random thoughts

This is one of those times where you just need to transfer some of your minds contents onto paper, or in this case, digital text.Whatever, that's what I have passing through my mind most of the day, it pertains to, to almost everything I can imagine, you start getting sad because of some stupid thing, just whatever. It doesn't matter. Just live the day your sitting on, that one day on the calendar to the fullest. If you never try to live the day to the fullest then all your doing is just letting yourself down. It's like writing a test half assed then the test is over and there's nothing you can do about it. Life is one big test, with tons of answers, but you don't have to know the answers to everything,you just
have to try to answer the questions and you will feel fulfilled. If I can do that I may have achieved happiness.

just imagine, imagine if you met the most amazing person you could think of, someone that just seemed to be made from the same cast as you, they understood what you strive for, what you live for. No words would need to pass between you but if they did they could only heighten the moments between you. Now imagine they re-defined everything you knew, just because of there certain attitude towards life and the way things happen, and why they happen. What would you do if this person left you and just was gone out of your life, what the hell would you do..do you try to be with them or what, or do you just face the facts that they are gone, but...Wouldn't you wonder what they were doing everyday, and wouldn't you wonder what you're life would be like with them in it. At the same time, there are millions of people that must be able to provide this feeling between you and them, why cant you just forget about this one
person, why worry, about one. Would you rather have that person with you all the time, or would you just rather they be on there own. But maybe if the person was on there own they would choose to be with you, and your paths would somehow intertwine. Would you rather forget about that person if you could never be with them, or would you just cherish the memories that you experienced together, memories that hurt but at the same time, memories that no other person on the face of this earth could reproduce with you. Somehow forgetting sounds easier than it actually is, you know? And it also sounds less appealing the more you think of it, because you will realize that you would trade nothing for those memories.

when you look at people in cars and stuff, what do you think, like, they all have there own little problems that they care about, don't you feel small now. They are so caught up in there problems that they don't care about you, or maybe some of them are thinking the exact same thing as you are, is that possible, that some random person in the mall or driving beside me is think, what's he name? What does he do?Where's he going? Maybe ill just follow this guy around all day and find out all this stuff about him, will that make me happy, make me realize how self centered the entire world is and stuff. Why cant we all just know everything about everyone, we would be so happy and sad and everything at the same time. You'd see that some people are just so so happy, people from Africa or 3rd world countries, and you could finally know why, why there so happy, and what they have that we don't, maybe its music, or something maybe its the fact that they don't know a better life like we do, is that possible...can innocence make people happy, I think so. I think id rather not know about TV and about what true comfort is. Knowing all these thoughts would make us so sad though, you'd know about everyone's problems, everyone's sorrows, but that could somehow benefit you, maybe. Is that what God feels, cause he endures everyone's thoughts at once..He must be so sad, but happy, but how could God be sad, is that possible? Maybe? Sometimes I wish I could know ones thoughts but at the same time I feel so opposite to that.

have I ever met someone at the wrong time in my life, and if so, what could be different about our relationship if I met them at a better or more ideal time, under more ideal circumstances. Maybe I've already met the love of my life, or my best friend or someone to help me through something at the wrong time, that kind of scares me you know. Am I thinking to much, is this wrong to wonder these things about my own life, maybe ill just not think about hard things anymore. I wish I was really really stupid and didn't have to think about things like this, think how sweet life would be then, you could just coast through without a care in the whole world, and just not really care or wonder about hard topics and issues. But at the same time, I would hate that, you know, I like thinking about stuff like this, but the question is, does it bring down the randomness that life offers, and does it effect the way that I live in turn? Because of these thoughts, can I still enjoy stupid things, id like to, id like to wonder about every single woman I meet, and if they are as wonderful as the ideal. That fact could keep ones drive going, the fact that you couldn't ever know what's going to happen tomorrow. Even if its all planned out and you have absolutely no intention to have anything different happen, it might, it could, so live.

some peoples eyes are wide open, yet they fail to see a thing.